Nicole Finn.
That's me.
After reviewing your record, it is the opinion of this board...
that you have responded positively to the rehabilitation program.
It is also our opinion that you have served sufficient time in this institution...
as punishment for the crime you committed.
Parole granted.
May I smoke?
Yes, of course.
Thank you.
Miss Finn, the terms of your parole are quite specific.
As soon as you leave here, you are to go directly to the bus station.
You are going home to Pennsylvania.
Philadelphia.
You are to report immediately to your parole officer...
and every two weeks thereafter.
Do you have any questions?
Yeah. You got any mascara?
Holy shit, we can't store that thing.
Don't worry about it.
They're sending somebody down to pick it up.
Hi, how are you? You got a package for...
- Mr. Montgomery Bell? - There you go.
Sir, I'm not an animal trainer, I'm a tax attorney. What's the problem?
I'm trying to tell you...
the messenger you sent refused to pick it up.
Well, it's just a cat, right?
I mean, couldn't he put it in his little satchel?
Doesn't he have a little cat satchel?
Mr. Trott, when you say "cat," I don't think you understand.
No, sir, I don't think you understand. Do you know who that cat belongs to?
- Montgomery Bell. - Yeah? The real-estate guy?
Look, shipping person...
Bell is my career, okay?
Montgomery Bell equals Trott's career. Now, I need that cat uptown.
What's that sound?
That's my fiancée.
Good morning, Dunbar.
- Congratulations, Miss Worthington. - Thank you, Priscilla.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
- Oh, congratulations, Miss Worthington. - Thank you, Mildred.
Well, I understand that. I understand that.
- Stop it. - Hold on one sec.
- Hi. Wendy, I'll be with you in a moment. - Loudon, did you call the caterers?
- Yes, I did, dear, it's all taken care of. - I called them, too, just to be sure.
Oh, by the way, my cousin Heidi can't make it.
So, that leaves only 94 for my side.
Well, honey, just... Why don't you just take one from my side?
Okay? That's good.
I'm sorry, I can't hear what you're saying.
I said, the little kitty-cat can't stay here.
Nobody comes and picks it up by closing, I'm gonna put it back on the boat.
Oh, no. No, no, no, do not do that. Do you hear me?
I'm gonna come by after I pick up the tux, at 11:25.
Now, listen, this animal is very valuable to me.
So, if you could keep your eye on it, you know, don't...
- Don't let it out of its cage. - Right.
He suggests we keep it in a cage.
Darling, don't forget. 11:10, you're being fitted for your tuxedo...
- and you're meeting us at 12:30 for lunch. - Got it. I'm on top of it here.
So, where are the two of you going for your honeymoon?
Oh, we've decided to postpone our honeymoon for a couple of years.
Daddy has big plans for Loudon. There'll be plenty of time for fun later.
- It's Master's voice. - My father's waiting for us upstairs.
Loudon...
I want you to know, this prenuptial thing wasn't my idea.
- I know that, dear. - Now, which lace did you choose?
- None of them. - Oh.
Can I help you?
Loudon, this is Buck.
Yeah.
We're receiving so many presents, they've assigned us our own EPC driver.
- We have arrived. - How's it hanging?
It's hanging okay. Thanks for asking, Buck.
But she's only served four years.
I understood she was going to do the full seven.
Good behavior?
I see.
And where is she going?
Philadelphia?
And her parole officer there is expecting her?
How can you make sure she gets on the bus?
So, your people won't actually see her get on the bus.
Well, thanks for calling, Milton, and I really appreciate it.
Give my love to Lisa, and little Kenny, and Devin, and...
I mean, your wife, Phyllis...
and you have no kids.
Daddy, which of these do you like for our stem width?
Honey, it's your wedding. It's your decision entirely.
- That one. - I win.
Just finished, Mr. Worthington.
Good work, boys.
Well, here we are, son. Just sign there.
What's this?
What are these?
Oh, just a few do's and don'ts. You don't have to read it, son.
Basically, what it says is that...
everything I own, the cars, the houses, the business...
someday none of it will be yours.
Isn't this civilized?
Done.
Now, everyone, if you would excuse me...
I would like to talk to my son-in-law alone for a moment.
Eek.
Be gentle with him, dear.
Miss Worthington, someone has to make a selection.
What about... What about the French lace?
Sir, I think I know what you're going to say...
and I want you to know...
that I will try to make Wendy as happy as I can.
Well, that doesn't matter, son, as long as you signed the agreement.
Something came up today, Loudon.
A woman named Nikki Finn...
is being paroled from Rockford Correctional this afternoon.
They're sending her home to Philadelphia.
I want you to drive her to the bus station.
That's it?
That's it. Drive her to the bus station.
It's a mile and a half, take you five minutes.
I want to make sure she gets on the bus.
- Who is she? A client? - No, no. No.
This is a public service policy the firm is trying to initiate.
We're trying to give back something to the community.
- You mean, like a charity? - Exactly.
What have you done with the real Mr. Worthington?
Listen, sir, today is really the worst possible day for me.
I was thrilled when you and Wendy decided to get engaged, you know that.
Sir, you set my desk on fire.
- No, I didn't. - Yes, sir.
You burst into my office, you had a five-gallon can of gasoline.
I overreacted. I can see that now.
My point is...
you have tremendous potential, Loudon.
Partner, senior partner.
And you know why? You can be counted on.
All right.
Let me just...
see here.
I can squeeze it in between Bell's cat and lunch, I guess.
Good. I won't forget this, Loudon.
Operation Prisoner Shuttle is very important to me.
Now, remember, put the girl on the bus personally.
I know you won't let me down.
Yo.
Cigarette stash is all yours, Judy.
Thanks, Nikki. Don't do nothing I wouldn't do, huh?
They haven't invented what you wouldn't do.
- Later, Marilyn. - Later, Nikki, baby.
Come on, move it.
Hello, I spoke to you on the phone.
I'm here to pick up Mr. Montgomery Bell's cat.
Oh, shit!
This thing ate Mr. Bell's cat?
No, Einstein, that is the cat.
Look, one Patagonian felis concolor. Says here they're almost extinct.
There's only four of them left in the world.
Apparently, this species mates only once every 26 months.
It says here tonight's the night. Sign on the X.
- Well, what's it supposed to eat? - Probably shit-for-brain uptown attorneys.
One black leather jacket...
one plastic comb, blue...
two leather studded bracelets, black...
and one lipstick, fire-engine red.
All your worldly possessions.
Don't knock it, Donovan. Can't get this shade of red anymore.
She hasn't changed since I busted her four years ago.
Yeah, well, I still say we're wasting our time.
Maybe, maybe not.
I always had a hunch somebody else was involved in the case.
Think she's gonna try to find whoever it is.
Do you think she knows we're here?
Need some help with that, Donovan?
I'm out of here.
You ain't free till you're through that door.
Move it.
Hello, hi.
- I'm here to pick up a Miss Nicole Finn. - That's her.
- Am I free now? - Yeah, you're free.
Good.
Did you see what she did? Get her back in here, now!
You want her back here?
- Hell, no. - Be nice.
Excuse me, sorry. Sorry.
Excuse me, Miss Finn. Miss Finn?
- Excuse me! Miss Finn? - Hello.
Hello, my name is Trott, Loudon Trott.
I'm an attorney with Worthington, Ferris, and Clarke...
and we're initiating a new public service program.
- It's called Operation Prisoner Shuttle. - "Operation Prisoner Shuttle"?
Yes.
What we do is provide recently paroled people...
such as yourself, rides to wherever they wish to go.
Isn't that sweet? That your car, Loudon?
- Yes, well, no, it's not my car... - Let's go.
It's my family's car. Well, they're not really my family yet.
- I'm more of a Volvo man myself. - Thank you.
It's a pretty car, just a little overstated for my taste.
But...
Excuse me.
Not funny.
All right, fine, just...
Stop right here.
- No, no, no, babe, let's take this car. - What?
This thing says "undercover cop" all over it, come on.
Yeah, right.
We'll take the one that has "pretentious asshole" written all over it.
- God... - Don't slam... God.
Fine, fine, just go straight ahead. The bus station, straight ahead.
Neat. You got a tiger.
No, it's a Patagonian felis concolor.
There are only four of them left in the whole world.
Going on three.
What's his name? Hi, baby.
Lady, I don't know his name, I'm just delivering him.
- Where's my seatbelt? - How about "Murray"?
- How about Murray what? - How about Murray the Tiger?
There's only four left.
It's not likely there's another Murray, am I right?
I guess there's a certain logic to that.
- Oh, dear Lord. - Hang on, Murray.
Hey, a mall.
Are you out of your mind?
Easy!
Please, no!
See, park on a slant so nobody scratches.
Okay, that's it, fine, nobody's hurt. Nobody's hurt.
Loudon, don't be mad at me, okay?
It's just that I've been stuck...
in that cage for four years...
and I just went a little crazy, and it won't happen again.
You're right. You're right. This will not happen again.
But as long as we're here, can we go in for a few seconds?
- No. - Please?
- No. - Why not?
The bus doesn't leave for half an hour, and I can't go back to Philly...
without any presents for my mom. She thinks I been shopping.
Shopping? For four years?
So, I can't exactly go back empty-handed, 'cause it isn't very nice.
All right. All right, 15 minutes...
and then straight to the bus station, you promise?
Promise.
Who are you?
- Who's the guy? - Don't know.
A wild card.
Let's go.
- Damn it! - Hey!
Listen, don't slam, don't...
What?
Come on, Miss Finn, it's getting late.
Hey, look, the clerk forgot to take the tag off this one.
How about that?
Well, that's it, 15 minutes.
Come on.
Come on, I'm getting worried about the cat.
The Patagonian felis. Murray.
Is there a later bus?
No.
No. There's not.
Isn't there a 1:45?
No, they cancelled that one. It was in the paper this morning.
Oh, gee, 'cause there's something else I gotta do.
Oh, now, come on. We had a deal.
You said you would go straight to the bus station.
I will. Just gotta make a little detour...
to 735135th Street, Apartment 6.
That's Harlem. What's in Harlem?
- Nothing special. Just gotta get a gun. - A gun? A gun?
Absolutely not. No way, no. No can do, sorry.
Look, it'll take us a half an hour max.
Ten minutes to get there, five minutes to make the connection.
We'll be there in plenty of time to make the 1:45...
and you'll never see me again.
- Except maybe in your dreams. - Nightmares.
Nightmares is the word you're looking for, Miss Finn.
- Nikki. - Miss Nikki.
- Miss Finn. - Miss Nifkin.
Listen, listen...
you've been out of prison exactly 23 minutes.
Now, I'm not a criminal lawyer, no, but I suspect...
Hey, meet me out front, I gotta ditch this guy.
So, my advice to you is to seek some professional help.
I mean, get a job or something, you know, even a menial job at this point.
I got you.
No, I swear, I didn't take nothing. What are you doing, man?
Let's get out of here, there's nothing here I want.
- What is this? - Beethoven...
Oh, give me a break.
Good work, pal. Lock him up and throw away the key.
Thanks, ma'am.
I knew you were up to no good.
Loudon, I've been thinking it over, you know, you're right.
I don't need any more trouble in my life.
I'm going to get on that bus and go back to Philly.
- Start all over again. - Well, I think you're doing the right thing.
Yeah, thanks for everything.
Goodbye, Murray. I'm going to miss you most of all.
- Wait, I'm driving you. - No, you've done enough for me already.
But I'm supposed to make sure you get on the bus.
Come on, get in.
- Can I drive? - No, absolutely not.
All right.
Maybe.
All right.
- But no tricks. - No tricks.
- You promise? - I promise. I promise, no tricks.
- Hey, Loudon, guess what? - What?
Tricks!
Sorry.
They're getting away.
Oh, my God, you robbed that store. Where are we going?
I robbed nothing.
When you rob a joint, you stick up the cashier.
I boosted a few tapes. There's a bit of a difference.
All right, I didn't want to do this, but I have no choice.
- Citizen's arrest. - "Citizen's arrest"?
Kid, you're so cute.
- There it is. - Oh, my God!
- Gonna make it. - I'll accept anything but a tie.
- Detour. - Freight train, freight train, freight train!
Now look what you done.
All right, get out of the car with your hands up.
Oh, Officer, thank God you found us. See, my husband's having a heart attack.
We got to get him to the hospital. Is this the way?
- Let me see your license. - I don't have a license.
See, I was only driving because it was an emergency...
and I mean, I just... Look at him.
Help me.
Listen, you're in good hands.
- Oh, God, he's so young. - Are you the wife?
I'm gonna need some information. What's the patient's name?
- Loudon. - Loudon. Loudon, what?
- Clear. - Loudon Clear.
Mrs. Clear, have you noticed anything wrong with your husband recently?
Well, he hasn't exactly been Valentino in the sack lately, if that's what you mean.
Oh, God.
Hey, he's hysterical, can't you give him something?
I mean, help! He's in agony!
No.
How are you feeling, Mr. Clear?
- My wallet, my clothes. - Oh, your wife took everything home.
But she's gonna be back later with your pajamas.
My wife?
- Oh, my God, she didn't take the Rolls? - Oh, it's a beautiful car.
- She gave some of the girls a ride in it. - Oh, no, no, no.
Not Mrs. Worthington's Rolls-Royce?
But Murray's in it. She's got Murray!
Harlem, Harlem! I gotta get to Harlem.
- I gotta get to Harlem. - Mr. Clear...
Oh, Mr... You can't go anywhere. We've gotta run more tests.
My name is not Clear, and I'm perfectly, perfectly fine.
I'm a lawyer, see, I'm a lawyer, see, and I know my rights.
I'm going to Harlem.
Well, you just push. You just have to push.
Yeah.
Taxi! Taxi!
- Okay, 735135th Street, step on it. - Sure thing.
I'm not supposed to pick up anybody without their clothes on.
Company policy.
Damn good policy, too.
It's 9 mm, semi-automatic...
only 33 moving parts...
For easy stripping and cleaning.
Twenty-seven ounces, fits in your pocketbook, light and deadly...
a favorite with the ladies.
Very nice.
The ever-popular .44 Magnum with chrome finish.
Effective, but common.
And for your more serious self-defense...
you got your AK-47 Soviet assault rifle. Or...
the AUGSA, 45 mm.
Really the cutting edge of automatic firepower.
Now you're talking.
I got assault knives, 10-inch blades...
car stereos, compact disc players, watches, video cameras.
I got bootleg tapes. I got suits, shoes, designer jeans...
- Oh, you're getting married, are you? - Yup.
Tomorrow at 12:00, I'm marrying Wendy Worthington.
- You? Nah. - Huh?
You, marry Wendy Worthington? I can't see it, you're not her type.
- You know Wendy? - Sure, Wendy from Scarsdale.
I had her in the cab once.
Well, just because you happened to have given her a ride...
- doesn't mean you know her type. - I didn't say I gave her a ride.
I said I had her in the cab.
Well, here we are. That'll be $6.50.
- I don't have any money. - Forget it. Any friend of Wendy's...
Hey! Hey, get away from there! Come on, get away!
No, no. No, get off, get away, go away.
This is my stuff, this is my car. Put that down.
What's wrong with you?
What...
- Come on. - Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that.
Don't do that. Oh, my God!
There was a Patagonian felis in here. A Patagonian felis was in this cage.
Murray? Murray.
Come here, boy. Here, kitty, kitty. God damn it!
Come on, cut that out. Leave it, leave it.
- Hello? - Come on.
No, this is not Loodon. Loudon?
- You Loudon? - Yeah.
Telephone.
- Hello? - Loudon?
- How's it going, son? - Oh, Mr. Worthington.
Sir, actually, there's been a wrinkle or two at this end.
You did take care of that charitable errand we discussed, didn't you?
Actually, sir, the charitable errand missed the bus.
That's not what I want to hear, Loudon.
But I'm gonna have her on the next one. Guaranteed. No problem.
Stop that.
I see.
Sir, how dangerous is this person?
Her bark is much worse than her bite.
Well, what does she bite, sir? It's important that I know that.
I think we'd all be a lot happier...
on this most joyous of weekends...
if Nikki Finn were far, far away.
I couldn't agree with that more, sir.
She'll be on the next bus. Guaranteed. No problem.
I hope so.
Here's Wendy.
Loudon?
Where are you, sweetie? We've already finished the first course.
- I'm in Scarsdale. - Yeah, check this out.
Why don't you just go... Go ahead and order without me.
Did you get the ring?
Damn it, I haven't gotten to that yet. I'm running a little behind schedule here.
You will be at the co-op interview, won't you?
Oh, absolutely, sure, of course. I'll meet you there, okay?
Hey, white boy, give me a dollar?
Loudon, exactly what part of Scarsdale are you in?
Honey, I've really got to go. Kiss, kiss. Bye-bye, okay?
- Darling, where is he? - Scarsdale.
- Come on, get back here. Bring that back! - Shut up, white boy.
Oh, God.
You go ahead and piss on me, you bastard.
We got a problem. The gunrunner's in Number 6. Let's move.
That's "B" for boy, 321-7621-413.
- Hey, you got these in pink? - Hold on. Pink, let me check.
All right, where's Murray?
Hi.
- Hold it, he's with me. - You set me up, punk.
Get real.
Stay there! Both of you!
Nobody breathe.
- The name is Loudon Trout. - Trott.
Trott. T-R-O-T-T. Expiration date, 6/89.
Amount, $2,340.
You don't have to call that in. It's a gold card, stupid.
Easy, Chuckles.
Just tell me, I won't be upset. I really just want to know.
Are you the anti-Christ?
You can tell me, really. I swear, I won't be mad.
- You are, aren't you? - Move.
- Charlie, they're upstairs. - Uh-oh.
- Okay, Murph, I'm right behind you. - This way.
Mile and a half, mile and a half. Just take her to the bus station.
A mile and a half.
- What'd you do with Murray? - He had to go. I let him out.
- No, you didn't. - Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
- Jump! - Oh.
- Come on. - Are you insane?
- I did it, you can do it. - You're a criminal. I'm a tax attorney.
I'll be all right here. I'm sure somebody called the cops.
They are the cops.
- Maybe if I just explain. - Explain what, Trott?
That we were buying four stolen semi-automatic weapons...
- on your gold card? - Okay!
I got the other kid.
They'll put us in separate cells, won't they?
I mean, we won't be rooming together?
Relax, Counselor. Nobody's going to prison.
All right, let's see here.
Lunch, that's off.
Gotta find Murray, that's number one.
Wow, you print everything?
Hey, you never go below the line. I'm very impressed.
Good. 'Cause impressing you is what I live for.
All right.
Tux, got that, sort of.
Okay, gotta go to Cartier, pick up the ring.
Ring.
- A ring, huh? - Yeah, wedding ring.
- I'm getting married tomorrow. - Oh, great, what's her name?
- Wendy. - Oh, Wendy. That's a nice name.
- I'd like to meet her. - Well, you two really...
don't have much in common, you see, she being...
a mere human person, you being a force of nature.
Oh, God.
Two guys are following me out there.
- I think they're crazy. - They must be.
Yeah. You know, in high school...
we used to hang out in these things all the time.
Sneaking cigarettes, lying about boys, making big plans.
Is that when you started murdering people?
Hey, I'm a thief, I admit that. But I never killed anybody.
- All right, all right. - I was framed, Loudon.
I was going with this guy named Johnny. Small-time booster, bookmaker type.
Johnny finds out about this big white-collar guy...
who's into a lot of bogus stuff, but I never knew his name, you know.
Johnny gets the goods on this guy, though. He gets everything.
Photos, tapes, financial records, stuff like that.
Then, Johnny puts it all in a safety deposit box and he gives me the key, see?
He decides to blackmail the dude, but the dude doesn't bend.
Dude hires some creep named Raoul to hit Johnny.
Raoul stuffs the body in the trunk of my car...
I don't know it's there. I take a red light, the cops stop me...
they find Johnny in a lot of pieces in the back of my car.
Judge called it "a crime of passion."
Hey, I liked Johnny, but not enough to kill him.
- These things happen. - Yeah, but Johnny never told me...
the name of the bank or the box number that this key goes to.
But Raoul knows.
Raoul got it out of him before he finished him off.
So, I got the key, Raoul's got the box number...
so we gotta get Raoul. What do you say? You help me?
- Help you what? - Clear my name.
Clear your name? That's what this is all about?
- Clearing your name? - Yeah.
- Why don't you just go steal one? - Come on, just help me out...
and I'll be on the next bus. I swear to God, Trott.
Don't send me back to Philly a murderess.
Well, I'm...
This guy, Raoul, he really... He sounds like trouble.
Yeah, but we can handle him, you and me.
'Cause we're a team, Loudon. A lean, mean, fighting machine of a team.
Come on, somewhere deep down inside of there...
I see a fighter in you. Admit it.
Well, you know, I fence.
I started fencing when I was in prep school.
My father never approved, though. He didn't think it was very manly.
- Fence, huh? I knew you had it in you. - Yeah, I won the State inter-collegiate.
- But, my father never came to see me. - Yeah, why would your father...
want to watch you turn over stolen goods?
You're twisted.
Yeah.
No, I mean your glasses. Stay still, I'll fix them.
Oh, that's okay.
Got really neat hands.
Thank you. It came with the arm.
- This arm? - Yeah.
- This arm? - Yes.
- This arm? - Same one.
Feel good?
Yes, actually.
- So, you're gonna help me? - Yeah.
- Goody! - No, oh, I mean, I'll consider it...
if you help me.
We had a Patagonian felis in the back seat?
Murray, Murray. Perhaps you remember Murray?
How did you do that?
I have my methods.
Are they still sitting there? Now what could they be up to?
What do you care? You're paid by the hour.
What'd you get?
I got the cold quail with pesto and cubed goat's cheese.
It's marinated in a little olive oil and thyme, and...
Well, I picked up the wild rice with the French morel mushrooms...
on a bed of radicchio lettuce, and there's a little Dijon dressing on the side.
I got that for you.
Loudon, why do you think they call these things "McNuggets"?
I don't know, Nikki. One of life's greatest unsolved mysteries.
Murray sure likes them. Here.
Try some sweet and sour sauce, honey.
There he is.
- One of them's big. Very big. - Yeah, yeah.
Not as big as this. Let's do it.
Someone's got a problem.
Turn around, walk down that street. Look back, and you're dead.
- Yeah. - Move.
- Don't even think about it. - Nikki.
Long time, Raoul.
Take them out with your fingertips and drop them on the floor, thank you.
Listen, I just witnessed an accident back there.
I'm gonna at least go back and give my name.
Drive.
- What? - I said, get in and drive.
What's this all about, Nikki?
Cut the innocent act, Raoul. I know you hit Johnny.
How you doing, Loudon?
Loudon don't see too good without his glasses.
Nikki, don't do anything crazy.
I'm out of control, you little Poindexter-head.
I want the name of the bank and the safety-deposit box number. Now.
What good is that gonna do? No one's ever found the key.
Honey, I never lost it.
I been sitting on this thing for four years.
Yeah.
- You're doing fine, Loudon. - Thank you, thank you.
- No, he ain't. - Yes, he is.
The name of the bank and the box number, now.
Nikki, don't get mental, now. We could talk this out.
What's the matter? You afraid of what I might...
find in that box? Huh?
I think you better find a place to park, Loudon.
Okay.
Nice spot. Okay, everybody out. Let's go.
Come on. No monkey business. Go.
Move it.
Man, I'd hate to be way up there like that, hanging on a car door.
I'd hate to be way up there like that, not hanging onto a car door.
Keep going. You too, shorty, up against the car.
Time out, time out.
I want that number.
Looks like your boyfriend's in trouble.
- Later for him. - Later?
Loudon, I'm busy...
Hey, hey, give me that! Hey!
Hey, that's my gun! Hey, thank you.
My gun.
Stop it! Get away from me, you big, bad bully.
Now, talk! Cartier closes in half an hour.
- Kawamatsu Bank. - Kawamatsu?
On Madison. Box number 6111.
Trott, help!
Oh, now you need my help. How the worm has turned.
- Loudon, please. - Well, what about "Later for him"?
I didn't mean it, I had my fingers crossed.
Fire hydrant, fire hydrant, fire hydrant. Excuse me, fire hydrant.
- Listen, why can't we go to the bank first? - No, we did one of your things already.
We murdered the pimp and the fat man. Now it's time to do one of my things.
Is that what you're upset about? Should I tell you something, Trott?
We did the world a favor. I mean, those guys were scum.
Hey, they weren't even scum. They aspired one day to be scum.
Nonetheless, nonetheless, nonetheless.
Double homicide was not on my agenda.
Look, I got a good idea.
Why don't you just tell me the box number?
And I'll go to the bank...
and I'll meet you back here. It'll save time.
Listen to me, you little insane person. I'm not letting you out of my sight.
I gave my word I would see you on that bus...
and until that glorious moment comes, you and I are stuck together like glue.
Like Mutt and Jeff, Amos and Andy, Frick and Frack...
spick and span, yin and yang, Arm and Hammer, pork and beans.
The bank closes in a half an hour.
Yeah.
- Good afternoon, Mr. Trott. - Afternoon.
- How's Mother, sir? - Mother? Fine, fine.
Tomorrow's the big day, sir.
- Congratulations. - Thank you, thank you.
The ring is all ready for you, sir.
I don't recognize madame, sir. An out-of-town guest?
Out-of-town, sort of. I'm Loudon's cousin...
Mr. Trott's sister.
Sister? I wasn't aware Mr. Trott had a sister.
Been away a few years.
- Boarding school? - Boarding school, right.
- Switzerland? - Excuse me?
I said, was the school Swiss?
Sure. Sure, one of the Swissest.
- Can you handle it? - Do it, do it.
- Can you handle it? Do it today, man. - Today.
- We're cool. - Let's go.
Go.
Excuse me. I'd like to take a look at that.
I like this.
It's very sweet.
- Think this'll fit on a tiger? - Tiger?
No question.
There you are, sir. Shall I put this on Mother's account?
- Yes. - Put this on Mother's account, too.
- For Murray. - Have mercy.
But Loudon, he's almost extinct.
Well, I see the clasp is broken. I can get this fixed.
Hey! Give me that key!
I want my key! Give me my key!
Oh, no!
No, you don't!
Let me down! I want my key!
Come back here! Give me my key!
Put me down! You get over here!
- Oh, my God. Where's the car? - Wait! There they are!
Where's the car? Murray? Murray?
Thank you. Get in here.
Sorry.
Well, what about Mrs. Worthington's car? What about Murray?
Later, Loudon. Follow that brown EPC truck, okay?
There's an extra $20 in this if you can explain to me what's going on.
Oh, hey, hey, you stole that from Cartier.
- That's grand theft. - Thanks.
But, they're going to come after us.
Loudon, you don't seem to understand. They don't care about this stuff.
Those places, they deal in diamonds. They don't want their diamonds stolen.
So they put stuff like this out for people to take.
It's what you call in business a loss leader.
They want us to steal it. Yeah.
You understand that? It's like a promotional thing with them.
Excuse me. Do you mind?
Here's your truck.
Hey, this is where Wendy Worthington lives.
- You're right. - Hey.
- How did you know that? - I had her in my cab once.
- Peace. - You want to hurry it up in there?
Come on.
Does that feel better, Buck?
Lot of people take the EPC for granted, don't they?
Not us.
Loudon?
This is my bed-and-kitchen shower, you're not supposed to be here.
Why are you dressed like that?
Can't go to the co-op interview dressed like that.
- Did you get the ring? - How's it hanging?
Wendy, my God.
Well, you just look every bit the little thing Loudon described.
Loudon, who is this woman?
Loudon, shame on you, honey.
I thought you told Wendy. Well, I'm Loudon's cousin.
Nikki Sue Trott. The Atlanta Trotts with the three T's.
Give us a kiss.
I just love that little thing you're wearing.
Loudon, she's got the cutest little figure.
What a cute, teeny tiny...
almost non-existent little figure. I'll mingle. Presents!
Loudon, now, you didn't say anything about a cousin from Atlanta.
Very complicated, dear. Yes, ASPCA?
Yes, I would like to report a wild concolor missing.
Dear, I thought we agreed the guest list was locked.
- Are you listening to me, Loudon? - No, no, dear, I'm not.
A Patagonian felis concolor. Last seen at 57th and Fifth.
- Loudon, what is this all about? - I'll hold.
Your mother's car was stolen from Cartier.
- A very rare animal was in it. - Oh, no, not the Rolls.
- Mummy's Rolls? - I saw the whole thing.
Don't worry, Miss Worthington. I've got the license number.
- You got the license number of our car? - I wrote it down.
Is it possible for you to be any dumber?
I don't see how.
Bye, Buck.
What is it?
Bye, Bucky Duck.
- See you later. - Bye-bye.
We love you.
I just can't help myself. I love getting presents.
That's from me.
They're gorgeous.
- Solid 24 karat. - Of course.
Eighteen.
Anyways, so I was saying...
family was just beside themselves with happiness.
I mean, you can't imagine how relieved we all was...
when we found out old Loudon here was getting engaged.
- Yeah. - I mean, Loudon? Marrying a woman?
Got it!
- Murray! - Murray.
Mummy's Rolls.
Bye, Miss Trott.
Loudon, come on, let's go.
Loudon, where are you going? You won't be late for the co-op interview?
Murray!
Stop that car! Murray! Murray, get down!
Hey, Moe. It's a monster.
All right, we're here.
Wanna give me that box number now, Trott?
- Not till we're inside. - Oh.
It's not fair.
Oh, no. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Please, I cannot be with this woman another minute.
Don't give me that crapola.
- Open up. - She has to catch a bus.
- She really does. - Come on.
- Please, sir. - Two seconds.
- Let us in. - Two seconds.
- Look, I'm wealthy and I'm busy. - Waddle on over here and open up.
Tomorrow morning, 10:00.
Tomorrow morning? Perfect.
Oh, look, what do you care, huh?
Just give me the box number, and we'll go our separate ways.
I can't, I gave my word.
I promised that I would personally see you on that bus.
Now, I'm sure the concept's just alien to you...
but, where I come from, a person's word really means something.
All right, then I give you my word.
Tomorrow morning, come here, open up the box...
and I'll get on the bus all by myself.
- You're lying. - How do you know?
Your lips are moving.
Hey! Know what I think, Trott? I think that you wanna stay with me.
Yeah, but you just can't admit it.
You think that I would want to stay with you?
I mean, that I would actually want to stay with you?
Do you believe this?
Lady, I'm surprised your shadow keeps you company.
I'm an ex-convict and he's with me.
Shut up.
We killed two people, a pimp and a fat man...
- and he did most of the work. - Yeah, I killed a pimp.
- What are you... Stop... - He's the father of my child...
but he doesn't want to admit it, 'cause he's a lawyer.
- My co-op. I'm driving. - Hey. Hey!
Oh, oh, I get it.
Yeah, you care more about getting your apartment...
than finding the pimp that set me up, is that it, huh?
My problems don't rate? What are you looking at?
- What? - Loudon, it's me.
- Who are you talking to? - I'm working on it.
How can you talk to somebody at a time like this? Huh?
I spent four years of my life in the hole, waiting for the chance to get out...
and clear my name, and I will know vengeance.
You mean, she's still in town? You said she was going to be on the 1:45.
- She missed the 1:45. - Who is that?
Don't you shush me. Nobody ignores Nikki Finn.
Oh, I see. Perhaps my instructions were a bit oblique.
- Give me that. - I am Nikki Finn...
and I will not be denied. I will know vengeance.
I'm sure she's gonna be here.
Mr. Trott...
we are, of course, very particular about...
who we allow into our St. Andrews cooperative.
Punctuality, I have found...
is a very good indicator of character.
Absolutely, it's so amazing that you would say that...
because Wendy is known for her punctuality.
We both are, it's like a... It's a joke amongst our friends.
If your fiancée isn't interested in the apartment...
I'm sure we can find someone who is.
I'll just check out... I'm just gonna check outside...
'cause I'm sure she's looking for a place to park right now.
So, just chat amongst yourselves...
and I'll be right back.
Okay.
Nikki.
- Nicole? - What?
Found her, found her. No problem, no problem.
She was at the Children's Hospital...
because they just opened the Wendy Worthington wing.
Hello. Hi, there. Sorry I'm late.
Just overcommitted myself. Yous understand, huh?
No problem at all. Please take a seat.
Miss Worthington, your application is very impressive.
Your background, the private schools...
Well, you gotta see me spend money to really appreciate me.
Now, Loudon...
I see here that you're with Worthington, Ferris and Clarke.
Yes, ma'am, that's true.
I've been with them now about five and a half years.
Yeah, and can I tell you something? He is Daddy's right hand.
Well.
And left hand.
He's both of Daddy's hands.
Knock, knock.
Knock, knock. Knock, knock.
- Who's there? - Boo.
- Boo, who? - Don't cry, we'll take the apartment.
You...
Yes.
Back to the interview.
Do you plan to have any children?
No.
No, I mean, not right away. You know, maybe in the future.
- Well, we don't have to... - Yeah, but not right...
- Not right away. - Kids aren't that important.
'Cause we decided that our careers come first.
- Absolutely. - Yeah.
Oh, honey, it's little Tabby.
- Hi, kitty. Hi, baby. - I told you Wendy had a cat, didn't I?
- It looks like a tiger. - Oh, no.
- No, it's not a tiger. - Oh, definitely not.
- No, we've had her for years. - Yes.
She's potty-trained and everything.
Hiya, Tabby.
- He seems a little hungry, did you feed it? - Oh, I forgot.
But we can pick up some Tender Vittles on the way home.
- Sorry. - Loudon, are you in there?
It's me, Wendy.
Wait a minute! Who is this woman? She's not my fiancée!
- Loudon! - Yo, girls, please. Be quiet.
Quiet!
It's the pimp and the fat man. I thought I killed them.
Loudon, how's it going? Did you tell them I went to Vassar?
All right, just send out the girl! I want Nikki.
Send her down, and I want her to bring the key with her.
Did you tell them we know the Butterworths?
Remember, girls, you're hostages! Get a grip!
They're my bridesmaids.
You're hurting my neck.
- Raoul, let the chick go, I got the key. - Nikki?
You heard what I said. Let her go, or no deal.
You... You're not from Atlanta.
No, I'm not from Atlanta.
Who are you?
- Don't worry, I'm nobody. - All right, just... Just stay calm.
Change partners here.
Oh, no, Wendy...
Come on.
- I know I put it in here somewhere. - Drop the key, come on.
Well, that concludes our presentation.
Yeah.
So, did we get it?
- No. - Oh, get your hands off of me!
Do you feel that you're being exploited as women?
I don't understand the question.
Have you developed a relationship with your captors?
Do you find yourself physically attracted to them?
Gross.
- Hello, Mr. Bell. - There he is.
Come on in, my dear boy. Come on in, we've been waiting for you.
You've not been up here before, have you?
- Is this rent control or what? - Actually, I own the block.
Excuse the mess. I recently lost Elwood, my housekeeper.
- He quit? - No, no, no, I lost him.
I think he's in the west wing somewhere.
Sometimes at night, I think I hear him crying.
It's most distressing.
Anyway, I meant to have you up here sooner, but as you know...
I travel a lot, searching the sphere...
for the endangered animals that need my help...
such as the Patagonian felis concolor I sent you for.
Mr. Bell...
- I have some horrible, horrible news. - Really?
I...
We'd better sit down.
I picked up the cat.
I did, as I promised I would. But something happened.
A woman happened, actually.
I was supposed to drive her to the bus station.
- Murray? He's here? - Well, of course he's here.
He's been here all night. Your fiancée brought him.
My fiancée?
Hello, Counselor.
How... How...
I told you, I have my methods.
You're shivering, Loudee. Want a drink of something?
Look like you could use a little warming up.
What a magnificent city.
A city of infinite possibilities...
especially in the rain.
They say that no two drops of rain are identical.
Actually, sir, I believe that's no two snow flakes that are...
Actually, I believe it's neither.
It's no two loves that are identical. For example...
I love this infuriating town, I love women who laugh.
I love women who refuse to laugh, wonton soup, Halloween...
I love all these things in different ways, none sweeter than the other.
- Life is grand. - I know exactly what you mean, Mr. Bell.
I believe you do.
She's quite extraordinary.
Extraordinary.
To not growing old gracefully.
To today, greatest day of my life.
It's not over yet.
I needed that. How long was I out for?
Gosh, it's time to take Murray upstairs. Would you care to join me?
You better believe it.
It's been my dream for decades to create a refuge right here in the city...
where endangered species could re-populate themselves.
I've saved over 27 individual breeds so far.
Let's hope our friend, Murray, is feeling amorous tonight.
I think he is. It's in the air.
Gee whiz. Mr. Bell, you really outdid yourself this time.
You're not going to find a better Brazilian rain forest...
anywhere on the Upper West Side.
I had no idea. I mean... I mean, this is...
This is... Oh, wow.
You made it, Murray. You're home.
He likes me.
Come along, this way.
I have a two-bedroom duplex on the Upper East Side.
The living room in it... But it's not as big as this.
And there's a kitchen, it's, like, off to the side when you come in.
I don't have anywhere near as many plants, though.
Here, baby.
There she is.
She's beautiful, Murray.
I love you, baby.
Well, I've... I've got to go. Make yourselves at home.
- Goodnight. - Goodnight, Mr. Bell.
Coming, dear.
Sorry, I'm late. I had some rather important guests.
Oh! Mr. Bell, where are we?
Which... Mr. Bell?
I think it's this way.
No, no.
Which way is west?
Loudon, it's been a long time.
Long time?
Yeah, four years.
- Long time. - Yeah.
Long time.
This'll only take a couple of seconds.
Then we're going straight to the District Attorney's office...
with all the evidence. You know...
and I wanna get a copy of everything, get to the newspapers.
Can't you see the headlines?
"Innocent, beautiful girl nabs mystery murderer."
- How's that sound? - Your box number?
- 6111. - Sign in, please.
Do you think this is gonna be on the 6:00 news?
I mean, I haven't been on television before.
Hey, do you think you're ready to hang out with a celebrity?
I wonder if my mom's gonna see it in Philadelphia.
She's, she's got this... She's got this brother, Joe, that's my Uncle Joe...
and I got cousins, though, you know, I don't have a lot of relatives.
But, you know, it would be really great...
if the relatives that I have could see it, it'd be good.
Then we gotta get out of this town, find some sun. I think we both could use it.
You know, look at me, four years in the can and pale as a ghost.
Can I tell you something?
You look like you could use a little fun in the sun yourself, you know.
- You smoke so many cigarettes. - I don't know what else to do with them.
What's wrong with you?
I'm marrying Wendy Worthington in two hours, as scheduled.
As scheduled.
Aren't you gonna open that?
No, it doesn't matter.
Nikki, you really didn't think that I was gonna...
- I mean... - I didn't think anything.
See.
Told you if we staked out the bus station, we'd find her.
Oh, is that what you're going to tell the Captain?
Huh? That it was all your idea?
- Well, it was. - Was not.
- Was, too. - Was not.
- Was, too! - Was not.
Was, too.
Oh, man, that's it.
When this thing's over, I'm applying for a transfer.
Fine, I'll type it up for you.
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
- You don't have to wait. - No, I just want to make sure you get on.
So...
make sure you contact your parole officer, and register with the employment people.
Maybe you can get a job at an animal hospital or something...
'cause you seem to really have a way with wild...
animals.
Let's go. Last call.
It's your life calling.
Yeah. Yeah, I gotta go.
See you, Trott.
Don't forget to wear your seatbelt.
There she goes. Move!
Let's shut those girls up!
Let's move.
Oh, my Lord.
- What? - Oh, my car.
Look at my car.
- What's the problem? - Oh, look, it's a wreck.
Oh, baby.
Sorry, I don't see it. What do you see? A nick?
A nick? A nick, no.
How can you not see it? It's everywhere.
Oh.
You decided to join us.
Rogers, I won't be needing that shotgun after all.
Any problem with Operation Prisoner Shuttle?
Clockwork.
Hello, Walter.
- There you are. - Oh.
- Where have you been? - I'm sorry, dear.
I was delayed doing an errand for your father.
I tried calling you all last night.
Oh. I was at my...
bachelor party. You know, my last big hurrah.
Yes. Damn right it was.
Where are the bridesmaids? Have you seen them?
Oh, there are the words I had printed up for the ceremony.
- "What the world needs now is love"? - No, no. That's what I say.
You say this:
"It's the only thing that there's just too little of."
Oh, stop.
Wendy.
Hey.
Hey!
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Hey! Excuse me.
Just so tired of the bar scene.
Yeah, I even tried a dating service.
- But it was just a waste of time. - So, how are we supposed to meet girls?
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love."
"No, not just for some, but for everyone."
You all right?
Damn it, damn it.
Hey, taxi! Taxi!
Come on, let's go.
Loudon, Wendy.
We've all heard the saying: "They're made for each other."
Well, whoever coined that phrase...
might have had these two fine, young people in mind.
Imagine, a nice girl like that forgetting her wedding day.
Hello?
Open up the gate, okay?
Loudon, open the gate, okay?
I got something I gotta tell you.
Loudon?
Hey, it's the bridesmaids. We're here. It's Diane!
Open the gate! Open the gate!
- A Porsche! - Quick, open the gate.
Open the gate!
Okay, Nikki.
- Give us the stuff, Nikki. - Is that your tough look, Raoul?
Is that the best you could do?
Nikki, Nikki, now don't make us take it from you.
No, Nikki, make us take it from you.
- What's over there? - What?
Perhaps Burt Bacharach is right.
Love, sweet love...
perhaps it really is the only thing there's just too little of.
Hey, this is the Worthington place. What's going on here?
We're trying to get in.
Oh, hang on, Wendy gave me the key.
I had her in my cab once.
First time I ever seen this broad shut up.
Yeah, let's do it to her like we did to her boyfriend.
It would be my pleasure, my brother.
Yo, boss, it's that cat again.
- Murray. - Oh, shit.
Not again.
Police. Everyone's under... Under arrest.
So there.
Thanks, Mur.
All right, drop them.
- What? - These are your rights.
Hey.
If there's anyone here who knows any reason...
why these two should not be married...
Yeah!
I got two reasons.
The bride's father's an embezzler and a murderer.
See, my ex-boyfriend, Johnny Scatelli, found out...
he was skimming money off the trust fund that his firm is handling.
So he hired two goons named Benny and Raoul to hit Johnny...
and they stuffed him in the trunk of my car.
And I took the fall and did four years in the slammer...
while this guy, the creep of the '80s, went free.
- No! - No!
And the second reason.
- The groom is in love with me. - No!
Loudon, tell me it's not true.
I can't.
- Buck! - She's crazy.
Look how she's dressed.
- She can't prove a word of it. - I think she can.
Interesting reading!
Now, would you...
I'm not going anywhere.
Didn't want it to end this way, son.
But you should have just taken her to the bus.
Loudon.
- Thanks, honey. - Get him.
Violence!
Do I stop here?
- You'll take care of me, won't you, Bucky? - Of course, I will.
I'm very muscular.
- Who's winning? - I don't know yet, hon.
- Heads up. - Hope you win.
Thank you.
After this, let's go to Philly, okay?
'Cause I haven't seen my mom for four years.
- Okay. - Hurry up, I'm bored.
So, tell me...
are you girls together?
Yeah!
That's for the four years you stole from Nikki...
and this is for me.
Try some cake, honey. It's delicious.
- So, still putting in for that transfer? - Yeah.
I'll talk to the Captain first thing in the morning.
Tomorrow is Sunday, man.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Well, in that case, forget it. Besides, you know...
what'd you do without me, anyway?
You know?
Hey.
Doyle?
So, I figure we can open up...
like you said, an animal hospital or something.
We can call it The Critter Crisis Center.
That sound good? Now, and I can take care of the animals...
and you, you could count the money, you know, add up the figures?
- Knock, knock. - Who's there?
- Olive. - Olive who?
I love you, Nikki Finn.
Oh.
That's so sweet.
Knock, knock.
- Loudon? - What?
Could you do me a favor?
Shut up and kiss me.
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